Vegetarian Dietary Needs

5 things vegetarians need to know about diet:

.     In today's health conscious society science has a lot to tell us about what we should and should not be taking into our bodies but there is no set formula that is universal. Your unique body and diet are different but with a little bit of vigilence answers can be found to questions like: why am I feeling spaced out and achy.
.     It doesn't take long for certain essential nutrients to deplete from our systems but it can take a while to build up a store of those necessary dietary components. Spend five days to two weeks documenting what your diet has consisted of, every detail. Record the weight of carrots you ingested, the beans and their type, pay close attention to documenting the nutrients list on that can of whatever you ate for lunch, the bowl of cereal. Every detail will matter.
.     Now go to the doctor and get a blood test to measure what nutrients you are and are not deficient in. This is the quickest easiest way to know where and how your diet needs tweaking. A lot of the foods we eat contain vitamins and minerals we are unaware of, paying attention to these can make you more aware of what your diet may be lacking. Typically vegetarian diets are lacking in Calcium, Iron, Zinc, Vitamin B12 and Omega 3 fatty acids.
.     Tip number 1: Iron. Did you know that Calcium, which your body needs a lot of, needs vitamin D in order to be properly processed. Having unprocessed calcium in your system interferes with your bodily processing and absorption of Iron. Preference dictated I start my day with a high heme iron source (animal protein) but this early iron load is a good idea. Be it through an egg, supplements perhaps, or through a glass of vitamin c orange juice with some iron fortified oatmeal, tofu, wheat or beans in the morning. An early load of iron helps kick start your blood and brain. After your Iron intake though, give it a few hours to digest and process before having that glass of milk.
.     Tip number 2: omega 3 fatty acids are crucial but often choked out by the omega 6 that floods our systems from various other sources. The key to balancing here is not to have more than three times as much omega 6 as omega 3. Unwittingly we often have up to thirteen times as much! For a healthy vegetarian diet look to fish, but for those like me who can't handle even that, try (you guessed it) a supplement. Also there are great sources of omega 3 such as microalgae oil, flaxseed oil and rapeseed oil. The more omega 6 you cut back on ( don't eliminate) the greater effect the omega 3 you take in and the healthier your diet will become.
.     Tip number 3: vitamin B12. Look for it on those labels. There are a lot of things in our diets that can or do contain this essential nutrient. It helps maintain and promote cell health and growth and has a huge impact on the brian. B12 helps ward off spacey feelings and in conjunction with other B vitamins (often referred to as complex) keeps our bodies flushed of toxins and any surplus chemicals or proteins building up in our systems and clogging the blood brain works. I for one, drink certain flavours of vitamin water but you can also find vitamin B12 in seafood, dairy, eggs, and meat. 
.     Tip number 3.5: Oh, wait, those B12 sources are all a no for vegans. Right. Supplements are often packed with B12 from plant and vegetable sources. Beware of these B12 sources. Most supplements from plant sources contain a form of B12 that the human body cannot process! Sunflower margarines are usually a good source for the right kind of B12 and most foods that are fortified with B12 have to have the right kind to get past the FDA because it is designed for consumption. Be warned though, there are those two kinds of B12 and they don't always specify which one they mixed into the ingredients. Trial by error has taught me vitamin water recover (grape flavour) has the right one. Try also comparing tropicana orange juice with other brands, it is surprising what you'll find!
.     Tip number 4: Zinc in high amounts can be poisonous. But I lived in a town that never got sick because of all the Zinc in the local ground water. Symptoms of Zinc deficiency can show as: growth retardation, diarrhea, hair loss, delayed sexual maturation and impotence, loss of appetite, eye and skin lesions, and white spots on the fingernails. I am sure there are others, Zinc supports health, growth, DNA, and wound healing. Some studies suggest ties also to muscular health as well as proper day to day brain function. Whole grains, fortified cereals, beans, nuts and some dairy. Be weary though, as zinc absorption can be inhibited by phytate, a component often found in whole grains, legumes, cereals and breads. The highest source of Zinc is oysters.
.     Tip number 5: essential protein. Vitamins B, C, D, and E are very important for cognition as well as complex carbs and the protein required to process them. Great vegetarian sources of protein are found everywhere. Such as in peanut butter, almonds and other nuts, tempeh and seitan. It is recommended that 10% of your diet be protein so indulge in tasty options that source necessary proteins as well as other essential nutrients you may need, such as Iron and Zinc. Do your research!

I really hope this is helpful to you Meghan. With love. :)

Ask- The Interpersonal Dynamic

.     Found an interesting article on the newer face of dating and a point struck me as one of those newer, freshly liberated generational gap types. There arose the need to explore the topic.

1. She wants you to ask. Despite the rhetoric you hear about the liberated woman, women still appreciate it when a guy asks her out on a date. They like when men take the initiative. (http://artofmanliness.com/2008/01/16/stop-hanging-out-with-women-and-start-dating-them/)

.     Recollection brings about; for some, the idea of a time in which "he" asks "her" and she accepts or completely rejects him and this dictated the subsequent interactions as being existent or completely non-existent. No middle ground. 
.     Well, recent interaction software has allowed the emergence of said middle ground. Not that it didn't exist before, people of more than just the youthful generation are being exposed to and adopting new conceptions now. From across the generational board. 
.    Is it now assumed that women have an implied perpetually active "no" until asked and otherwise stated? I believe so, in some ways. Imagine if you will, a friendship. The interest is there, on one or both behalfs, and sometimes indulged in. Then a kiss in public creates dissonance between one or the other. Typically; 'she' is now thinking: "Where did that come from?"  and 'he' is thinking: "Well we're dating aren't we?" 
.     In the idiom of my elders this is a role reversal. But no matter, the affect is basic and human and the effect is generally a sharp divide between an otherwise healthy inter-personal relationship. From here, many wonderful friendships and partnerships have withered and died due to a lack of communication about expectations and about unwritten 'relationship' standards or rules.
.     So what went wrong? In the given example, she lives by the newer generational bachelor ( or feminist) standard that she has the freedom to become comfortably close with whomever she chooses without there being any implied expectations. His ability to claim exclusivity on such expressions of comfort is contingent upon both his requesting such and her continued acceptance of said requests.
.     Now this doesn't mean it is necessary to ask her if it's all-right every time you move in for a kiss. If she says yes once, some believe, that establishes a continued commitment. I would tend to agree with this mindset when it pertains to certain larger issues, sexuality for one instance. Marriage for another. However not the smaller issues. Those carry a more applied method of thought. This, of course, yields to circumstance. ie: New set of parameters or environment; implied "no" stands until verified or denied.
.     If there were grounds for a kiss behind closed doors, it speaks to a certain comfort level while in private, with a trusted, and accepted friend. Behind closed doors. Many don't realize that implies nothing more. Public is an entirely different animal and so is today's definitions of words like: single, dating, together, relationship or my personal favourite: teddy bear.
.     So where's the mistake in it all? Easy. Assumption. Typically when implied or assumed boundries are crossed, it is the actively single party who feels things are moving too fast. Operative terms being implied and assumed. The other side of the equation also is at fault of assumption. To assume that someone is as comfortable in the street as they are in the sheets is an exercise in futility.
.     The resolution lies in communication. The likelihood of either side saying: "Well I never said it would be ok!" is so high that you might as well skip it and cut straight to the chase. Discuss the friendship as it has evolved and clarify what makes the other part comfortable or uncomfortable with certain things. This would be the first step.
.     The crucial other half would be for both parties to agree to the most recent mutually amicable dynamic and designate there be some sort of reset button or dynamic checkpoint at that. Then pick up like nothing had happened with a better understanding of repercussions. Otherwise it will be difficult to salvage an otherwise strong friendship, a tragedy considering such things are rare in this digital world. After all, confused communication and differing opinions on what constitutes exclusivity need not be lamented. Celebrate differences.

Butcher

Food is a basic necessity and for me that includes animal protein.
recipes from the butcher

.      Governments need to have both shepherds and butchers.   
~Voltaire
.     Two of the noblest professions in my mind will always be the farmer and the butcher. Based on continuing research I am doing, the future of farming is a really sad thing. I will post more on that later. Today is about the butcher.
.     Through today's mechanized butchering processes approximately 750 lbs of food can be yielded from the butchering of a single cow. But it is important to note that the breed of cow has an impact on the quality and quantity yield. Historically, cattle were bred and kept for three purposes: meat, milk and labor. This would be your shorthorn breed which originally showed up in the US in Virginia in 1783. From industrialization and mechanized farming methods, cattle have been mostly removed from the labor end of the deal. When the butchering process is done by hand as grandpaw and great grandpaw did, there is less waste being sold as beef by-products for dog chow.
.     Today the best breed of cattle to raise for beef depends on the climate they are raised in and the season they are to be butchered in. The Hereford is known to mature sooner therefore can be slaughtered in a more conducive season, as opposed to being kept and fed throughout the winter. However the longhorn angus mix is known for being hardy through the winter and emerging in spring at a more favorable weight. The angus is the most common breed in the US for meat production.
.     At this point I want to emphasize something. Butchering is a skill and a trade that are crucial to the survival of the human species. Sorry vegans, I don't count you as a natural part of the breed, take that to mean you are some sort of next evolution, or whatever. For those like me, carnetarians, we survive because there are still those who know the safe and proper ways of using every part of an animal to enhance our own quality of life.
.     I for one, fear the day that all our mechanical processes fail or can't run due to lack of energy supply or some other thing. In that time, I want to be one of the few who still recalls how to survive pioneer style. This includes basic knowledge of farming and butchering, tanning and tools. I am using my time to learn what I can about as much in the realm of survivalism as I can. I found a farmer butcher who posted a detailed account of butcher basic knowledge and it struck me as the kind of thing I personally would be begging my grandfather to talk to me about. Please with an open mind and a strong stomach, read and enjoy the find of the day: back woods home

Now for something fun. Find me a picture.

http://labs.tineye.com/multicolr/

Given the serious nature I have taken lately and feeling as though I have concentrated too much on my own personal healing process, compacted by the fact that none of my enlisted friends have given me topics to use as parameters (other than "dear penthouse forum" thank you Justin, but I don't feel comfortable exampling that writing style here just yet) I feel it necessary to explore here a nifty fun search too designed for us visually oriented types. Below is a picture I found using this tool, find it if you can but feel free to get lost finding your own pretties.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/60169539@N00/2409272685

Anger and Forgiveness - learning from mistakes

The find of the day is: an article that discusses emotional healing.
.     Military horrors, extreme stress, the aftermath of violent crime, and the painful baggage of sexual abuse, along with other types of trauma can be dealt with. It is the feeling that healing is "so difficult" that slows down the mind's own healing process.

.     I am reminded of a little girl, barely five years old. There are two different incidents which illustrate the power of mindset over the healing process. The first example is one where she had been told not to go near the stove, it was hot. After placing her hand directly on the hot burner and crying, she had been told to listen better next time and that it was her own fault; now hold this ice cube. any other doting was foregone because she was at fault.

.     Almost a year later I asked her about the incident. "do you remember..." I ask her; and she is quick to rub her hand and quote her lesson of don't go near the stove when Daddy says not to because it could be hot and that hurt. She had been forced to think about what effect her actions had on things.

.     Our actions sometimes don't feel as if they have any effect on our otherwise mundane lives. We go to work, we go home, we have a meal, we sometimes have someone to talk to but then we go to sleep at night and whether you have someone to hold at night or not, it seems we all fall asleep with just our intimate selves, maybe having a conversation about our day inside our own minds. It is this connection between our actions and our inner lives that is central to the healing process. Insomniacs: one ofthe things you may be missing out on, just a heads up. When it comes to dealing with an emotional event, don't give up on talking through something with yourself because of it's perceived difficulty. Simply start remembering as many facts as possible. Right down to what you believed at the time as opposed to what was really going on.

.     When it comes to trauma, just like the little girl, we sometimes brood on where we could have gone wrong as if there is a lesson to learn or as if we did something wrong. Sometimes this is right, sometimes it is not. Case specific. The healing process needs a certain amount of this painful r(h)umination in order to learn the lesson for the future. But what is healthier to focus on when the incident is considered trauma? Certainly not anything you had no control over. And trust me, in traumatic situations we sometimes don't have the slightest bit of control over the fear.

.     Do you remember that little girl? Well she is five now and decided she wanted to help the big folk by moving some fire-wood. A real bright thing, if lacking manners. But she jumped straight to doing before watching to learn how it was done. She missed the think before you act step.

.     A large block of wood she had intended to hold slipped from her grip and fell on her toe. Her crying was met with her doting father's affection, band-aids and other bits of "ignore what happened" bricka-brack . (sorry, my vocab is a generation gap) The little girl never spent her "think about it" time really thinking about where she went wrong. Instead the time she was supposed to spend learning her lesson was spent being treated kindly by someone who loves her. And now she craves it.

.     Some people, like this little girl, spend too much time ignoring the real lesson in trying to ignore the pain. The pain fades very quickly, it is recalling that pain which can give us strength or drive us into an emotional abyss. While it is a good thing to work on looking past the pain in order to think more clearly, it is not good to ignore what happened completely nor to dive too deeply into it. As a matter of fact it is very important to explore every detail of what happened, right down to the way you felt at the time. But to do so in a matter of fact way.

.     Little girl still doesn't recall the pain or the lesson of the heavy things, but when asked about her toe she says it hurts, will Daddy get her a band-aid? The toe got dropped on once over six months ago. Since, it has been stubbed no less than enough times to get Daddy to shower her with attention and affection.

.      She is stuck in trauma mode. The next step is forgiveness. Forgive the block of wood which had no control over its own weight. Forgive the intention to help despite the lack of forethought. After all, not knowing better than to think ahead is still a lesson we continue to learn throughout life. Forgive the pain. But don't forgive the reaction.

.     The hot stove gave a sore hand which could not be made to go away but served as a constant reminder of what she did not want to happen again. At some point it occurred to her that there was no way of knowing if the stove was hot, so always treat it with caution. This didn't stop her from going outside and experiencing things for fear of unknown danger. It taught her to begin to think about what could happen.

.     We are older and wiser, we know that it is important to remember what happened. It is sometimes difficult to overcome fear, this is true. But the truly mature use fear to overcome the self. I was lying on the floor hearing fearful noises getting closer to me wondering if it would make me a target if I ran. I couldn't have tackled them and made it all stop, I just wanted to get away. This is ok. 

.     Late at night I thought to myself: if it happens again, how could I get them to stop. Difficult situations occur, there's no stopping that. But I am a stronger and better person because I have begun to accept and look past the anger and the fear and the pain, as I have no control over those things and have begun to forgive. In conjunction with forgiving has been the constant fascination with difficulty. It has been difficult to accept that these things happen and it is our reaction in those moments that effects the outcome. No two situations are alike. But the person inside you remains the constant. Who should that person be? Now think about it.

(h) From the Latin word: "rūminātio "chewing the cud"; see ruminate." comes a very good word for the phenomenon of practicing a mundane or unpleasant act being crucial to continued survival. It is defined exactly as:

.The act of ruminating; i.e. chewing cud and other ruminants.

.(figuratively) Deep thought or consideration.

.(psychology) Negative cyclic thinking; persistent and recurrent worrying or brooding.

.(pathology) An eating disorder characterized by repetitive regurgitation of small amounts of food from the stomach.

but make no mistake, to ruminate is a good thing... Well maybe not the chewing vomit part, not for us.

Anger

Even when you're angry it is very important to remain gracious.
.
.     I have found that most of the people I have encountered in my short time rely on what they can immediately sense about a person as a basis by which to read or judge that person. An intelligent person picks up on this idio centric societal truism and uses it to their advantage. I have. When I meet someone, I tell them what is beneficial for them to know about me.
.     It has been very difficult living through the ramping up of the next great depression, even harder being mostly homeless and reliant throughout. I am of the belief that there needs be no shame in being a victim or homeless or poor. But to lead with such facts can be counter-productive when you try to win over new contacts. Most people won't view the information as precluding some epic tale of leadership and resourcefulness. instead they'll write you off like the bum begging for change by the train station.
.     Currently I am coping with a great deal of grief and my outlet of choice for many years has been to share my experiences with a fun and informative moral somewhere in it. It has always been a good thing to learn from the experiences of your elders. So I spend a lot of time with the elderly asking them for advice. I highly recommend the practice. It has taught me to be gracious about the hardships of others. Listen politely, ask how they ever managed to cope.
.     Recently I met someone who seemed genuinely interested in problem solving with me and it became clear to me how angry I am not only with what happened but also with myself for allowing myself to get into the situation where it could have happened again. Let alone my anger at the, we'll say "aggressor" in the situation. But old habits die hard, I could not let on that this was the case. The conversation could have ended two ways and I couldn't help forgoing the sympathetic response for the trickier to procure compliment on how well I handled the situation.
.     So instead of leading with what happened, here's the useful advice, lead with how it is suddenly noticeable how many people have the bad habit of displaying their anger like some badge of honour. Example: we all have that Facebook friend who is always posting some broken hearted girlfriend post. You know the one, it's about how she is strong, better off without, jack-holes aren't worth the time, blah blah blah. And I for one shut out negativity and when conversation allows for it, I hint at how much worse things could be.
.     It is healthy to vent your frustration, don't get me wrong, but it is a fault no matter how you look at it. Grandma had a brother died in the war, what was your problem again? My point is that there's always someone has it worse off and unless whatever the incident was can contend on such a level, it is selfish and small minded to openly express anger. 
.     The bum I had a conversation with at three this morning hasn't had a family since his forties, nor a real conversation since he lost his leg in the accident at the under-the-table job he held three years ago. He wasn't angry. I told him I wasn't either but i couldn't believe his ability to keep going. Eventually I asked him how he did it, but I'll get to that later. Poor thing smelled like he needed a long shower, but at least someone was talking to him for once. 
.     It took a little while but when the bum had said enough to be ok with handing over the spotlight to me; he asked what brought me here. When I told him, he smiled and said that was too bad. I knew what he meant so I asked him again how he did it. He told me that he just couldn't stop breathing by choice anymore. His pause to smirk only lasted a second. He said the sun still shines every damn day and his lungs keep filling' with air all on their own so he might as well try and fill his belly which was work enough in these times.
.     I was grateful. It will be useful information if this shit keeps happening to me.

Cyclical History Profet-teering

Art of manliness: cycles of history

.     It is a very long article but it is full of very eye-opening stuff. For the past several months I have felt very listless about my life concerning direction. I have known that it is one of those things that I cannot change, not knowing what will happen that is, and that the thing I can change: my mood about it, has a lot to do with. The motivation to try. Reading this article has allowed me the motivation to try because it kind of opened my eyes to a present pattern that can be recognized.
.     I, like most, have a tendency to feel more comfortable when there is some perceivable plan or path before me. I don't fly off the handle when dinner plans change, but having the plans helps me cater my day leading up to those plans. Savvy? Well, the dinner plans in life include enough financial success to have a home with a yard and a couch with a best friend. Maybe a sweet rat rod too!
.     But the question remains: how to get there? It is a constant effort to try to predict what will be trending, and how to white hat some positive exposure. I am not of the Charlie Sheen philosophy that any publicity is good publicity, but I do believe that researching and elaborating a topic two months before it is relevant is a good thing. Predicting the future in this way doesn't have to be a crap shoot. Given the comfort and knowledge this article provides I find myself confident now when I read up on politics and pioneering style life-skills. The latter being an interest of mine for years now anyway.
.     We may be in a recession or unraveling stage, bourdering on depression or crisis stage, but my generation has a high. Likelihood of grooming the leaders and heroes, our high point is in the making and we have time to make the next roaring twenties exactly what we want it to be. I vote for lucrative, trade and skill oriented with hydroponic food sources as the new wave of farming. Also, why not make it easier for any Schmoe to produce and distribute? I say de-regulate the crap out of small businesses. Without freedom to try, there's less desire to learn. Of course I am referring to the government over using it's power to restrict. Examples being the illegalization of lemonade stands and bake sales!
.     Ok, that's enough of my opinion to read today, hope you learn something like I did.

PTSD and trauma recovery

Today's find of the day is: Grief

.     Three key elements to trauma or PTSD recovery are: 

The way you react.
The way you should react.
The internal perspective you need to take to bridge that gap.

Answer those as simply as possible. Evaluate with yourself the importance of differing perspectives. Prioritize for yourself and for your recovery.

.     Different people act and react differently and while some may not need help, often the rest of us do. One key element in recovery always seems to be support and counseling. Often times it takes an outside perspective to be honest with you about your reactions. Sometimes we jump to anger or tears before considering healthier means of expression. Not that years are unhealthy, but like mother always used to say: "too much is too much" and "moderation is key."
.     The most successful treatment program to date is AA's 12 step program. It isn't exactly fit to PTSD or trauma recovery but it has some over-arching principles that, when taken from a more generalized perspective are not only applicable but beneficial.

The twelve steps are:

Admit powerlessness.
A power greater than one's self can exist in your life and help.
Decide to turn control over to that power as you understand it.
Take moral inventory.
Admitted to self, and another the exact nature of what's wrong.
With understanding of self comes the ability to change character.
Internally ask for strength against shortcomings.
List those who have been harmed by our own shortcomings.
Make amends wherever possible, avoid injuring others.
Continue to self analyse, where wrong, promptly admit it.
Continually prey for the knowledge and power to carry on a better way.
Help someone.

Now, I'm just summarising here, but in very general terms, these are the twelve steps. 

.     Again, however, it is extremely important to seek the support of others. Opening up and discussing what happened and how it makes you feel is the most positive thing you can do. Be firm about your desire or need to do this. If someone is not listening, is interrupting or is overbearing with their opinions on how you should feel or think, find someone else, someone who is willing to listen. Then talk.
.     There are five major steps to grief and there is no way to determine how long it takes to get through each. Take the time to understand yourself and the ways in which you are thinking, your beliefs cannot be categorised and organised as much as they can and must be felt. I have known many who found the most difficult stage to get through was the depression stage.

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

.     Sometimes when a person is stuck to deep or too long in one stage or another, medication can help take the edge off, perhaps numb the pain enough to continue working on the healing process. If you suspect this might be the case: seek a professional, articulate your thoughts and feelings, discuss with them progress and your feelings. Sometimes merely summarizing your frustrations into an organized fashion can be just the nudge your brain needs to say "how silly I've been, all hung up here! Time to move on!" If not, a professional's job is to help. Don't be afraid to ask them to do so, and don't be afraid to admit that their brand of help might not be the right fit for you.

Mood adjustment :). Koi.

.     You don't ever really need an excuse to stare into a pond of Koi or to watch the water flow from atop a bridge. If you can find peace and serenity for a moment in your day, take the opportunity and do so. 
.      The thought occurred to me, when I stopped at a nursery and landscaping business to wander around the very perimeter of the grounds. I wasn't there to find or buy any plants, flowers and gardening are not exactly my forte; besides I'm years away from having a property I can nest properly. 
.     Someday I will; and it will have an apple tree. Maybe a few rows of vegetables, probably tulips lining a walkway or something. As I passed a myriad of plants, shrubs, flowers... I found myself wandering the back section. Trees in their decomposable pots and burlap ball bags, waiting to be planted and begin a life as someone's ornamental status-symbol, all pretty, all saplings. 
.     I came to a pond where the frogs were big and croaking their slow love songs to one another. I always went down to the lake as a kid to catch frogs. Remembering this made me smile. I laughed to myself thinking of the time I lst a boot wading through the deep back mud of the mucky part of the lake. I was so upset that it had happened.
.     Wandering around this quaint road-side business I came to a bridge over a small stream. Leaning on the hand-rail I watched the water flow towards me and thought it was a nice metaphor for life, youth I later corrected myself. 
.     Everything you came from, you are able to look back on and while you can't see it all at once, you know that the water comes from somewhere and has touched so much. The influences that make you and your life unique and whole; culminate together in a sparkling torrent and come to you. Staring back at the water rushing towards me I couldn't help but think about how life always seems to be an up-stream battle.
.     Then I turned and watched the water going the other way. Here, I thought, was the true metaphor for life! I'd been looking at everything coming my way thinking I was facing the right direction. Seeing only what came to me. And I was wrong. 
.     What passed me, in life too, was what I could have an impact on. I dropped a leaf into the water and watched it flow down-stream. First it passed a clump of reeds, then a patch of long grass, stalled in a circle around a little pool formed by some larger rocks, it poured from there and fed downstream until it disappeared around a bend and beneath a culvert.
.     Life is an up-stream battle if you look back all the time. But when you realize that where you are going is what you will have done, is what your life is really about, then you can start directing the flow towards the things that need your nourishment. You can begin to sculpt the landscape that will have been your path through life.
.     Walking back to my car I stopped at a pond. It reminded me of a taoist truism I like to think of when things get rough. "When the water is cloudy, just wait. In time the dirt will settle and the water will become clear again." through the ripples in the water I saw something alive. I waited and in a moment of stillness I saw flecks of orange and gold on black and white patches. The Koi were beautiful. 

The Art of The Conversationalist += Happiness

.     Happiness isn' t just a fleeting dream but it's not something easily obtainable solo.  How exactly do we capture that intangible and all too infrequent sensation of being happy? Well, I'm of the scientific mind, call me new fashioned or call me old fashioned, pursuant to what era you are from. Five basic steps based in the loose science of psychology allow a person to discover their own Happiness Project
.     First, take a lesson from science. One of many. It is a well established principle in psychology that man is a social animal and that we are distinguished from other members of the "animal" family by our perpetual habit of thinking about the future and conjecturing as to action and consequence. Straight up: we think; we think and we need to share it.
.     Whether it's an article in playboy about how to guess what woman is easy based on how she crosses her legs (surprisingly fun article to test at a party some time!) or if it's just sitting down with an old bud and talking about your week; sharing our experiences makes us less stressed and feel happier. The truth of it all is that we like to have someone listen to us. And those who need to be listened to often will show their gratitude if you have earned it and ask.
.     Lesson two: in today's day and age it is difficult to indulge personal connections, so go out and make a new friend in person. It's a very digital landscape and a business world. Take the time to sit down with an elderly person, go to the park and strike up a conversation with someone on a bench who would otherwise be absorbed in their phone, smile and say hello to the next minimum wage worker you see. Start a conversation and listen.
.     I find that having a large circle of friends and people who share their thoughts and feelings with you allows you more opportunities and it is this profit angle I've had the misfortune of gaining a working exploratory knowledge of over the course of the last several years. Many friends have given me many basic necessities in nominal amounts in the past. I owe these people much gratitude, I've often paid that due in the form of indulgence. But while I've lived penniless for the majority of my years, the only debts I still have unpaid are college loans and most that have helped me are eager to spend time with this 'ol friend again.
.     Lesson three: establish what your time is worth by quantifying your basic needs and dividing by your available hours in the day. Always remember you are not available for at least several hours of "work" and sleep (or as I like to say: rest). Psychologists and Psychiatrists get paid eight hours a day to listen to people talk. While they have a bunch of damn good worth-while knowledge that helps you make sense of whatever it was, their best and most profitable work is when they ask the elaborative type of questions that allow someone to discover the answer all on their own. So sit down and listen and ask questions that equate to the age old 'how does that make you feel.' Do remember how much valuable time you've spent and be honest and fair about the needs you should have been "working" on in that time.
.     The frustrating part of the process is listening to someone talk for hours about their meaningless status updates or some non sequitur they are all too proud to boast about when you personally would rather surround yourself with doers or talk about yourself. So I just look at it like this when I find myself in just such situations: I don't know how or when yet but just like Dr Freud, I am getting paid for this. Then I take it as a cue to my easily empathetic brain that it's time for a question that'll get 'em back on the elaboration track.
.     Lesson four: Be honest, be fair. When you notice someone feeling happy, it's a good time to say something like: "Well this has been fun but I really must go, I still have to find some place to stay for the night." Ok, so you probably have the basic necessity of shelter covered, but be a parent to yourself: why spend hours indulging some else's need when there's something you need to accomplish? If you understood lessons one, two and three correctly and didn't mention a need far beyond this person's capabilities, about three quarters of the time, this person will offer to help. Three quarters, that is if you got them to smile. You can get away with a lot if you make someone laugh.
.     I spent three months putting a stranger to bed every night. Sometimes he slept, sometimes we chatted all night. I was helping him with the basic necessities and in turn he would let me vent for an hour or three every night. I needed that then and we became great friends. But somewhere along the way he stopped indulging in my daily rant, but he kept relying on my support of his physical and emotional needs. The hardest part for me was to move on because when a person's need to feel important is met by someone, letting go is a reluctant act. But I always was bad at being fair to myself. 
.     Lesson five: be a giver. The old adage goes: a little kindness goes a long way. So far for me it's gone  ten states and a different country.  Though my personal happiness goal is to plant roots at a little farm somewhere, I feel I just may meet the person that can open that door for me next. So; as long as I have food and shelter and am lucky enough to earn just enough bill money, I will keep giving of myself, at least on a personal level.
.      Set your personal happiness goal; it could be a companion, a tangible thing, ruling the world, whatever; now be honest with yourself, what have you done to get there today? Not sure what makes you happy? Neither am I, but here's some great advice: go ask a friend. If you're doing enough of the listening to ask for help, they won't know either. You could ask them to explore it with you. Or go make a friend and start the process anew. Be fore-warned, starting over sucks. It is usually more painful every time.

Happy. Ok?

Two things I really want to share today, having found them, I couldn't not share... Please enjoy! :)

First: press The Button.

Now if your Objective Reality settings need adjustment: re-think happiess. :)

Abuse.

No one should ever have to live in fear of the person they love. 

.     This is the phrase that really hits home for me. Because it's true. More so for anyone who has had the experience. According to some random statistic I found online, and am oddly inclined to believe: 50% of women will experience some form of domestic abuse or domestic violence. This number is scary because it's high, sure, but it's terrorizing because I have a feeling it's true.
.     Ok, trip back to health class. Remember there were seven major forms of abuse: physical, sexual, emotional, economic, psychological, cultural and cohersive control I believe we're the categories. I'm not going to bore you with what each entails, but the gist is that one person exerts control over another in whatever way they can. And no matter the method the result is painful and traumatic.
.     Many people don't recognize the signs of an abuse victim, sometimes the cry for help manifests in such a way that the victim seems normal, happy, or perfect. It isn't very uncommon for these types of situations to include some level of threat against anyone finding out. For fear of the abuse getting worse, the victim might sometimes go out of their way to make things seem fine. What's worse is, given time, it's not like things get better either way.
.     Abuse is a pattern like alcoholism or other accepted forms of wrong turn life styles. And like these other forms of wrong choice life styles, it is important to be supportive of those seeking help. Whether it is a victim looking to break the pattern of living with abusive types or abusive types looking to break the pattern of thinking that makes the abusing seem like the right decision at the time. 
.     To quote domesticviolence.org: Abusers often have low self-esteem. They do not take responsibility for their actions. They may even blame the victim for causing the violence. In most cases, men abuse female victims. It is important to remember that women can also be abusers and men can be victims. But it happens too often to be ignored and people both good and bad deserve to be encouraged to break negative patterns.
.     Look out for these signs of abuse:
People who are being abused might:

Seem afraid or anxious to please their partner.
Go along with everything their partner says and does.
Check in often with their partner to report where they are and what they’re doing.
Receive frequent, harassing phone calls from their partner.
Talk about their partner’s temper, jealousy, or possessiveness.
Have very low self-esteem, even if they used to be confident.
Show major personality changes (e.g. an outgoing person becomes withdrawn).
Be depressed, anxious, or suicidal.
Be restricted from seeing family and friends.
Rarely go out in public without their partner.
Have limited access to money, credit cards, or the car.
Have frequent injuries, with the excuse of “accidents.”
Frequently miss work, school, or social occasions, without explanation.
Dress in clothing designed to hide bruises or scars (e.g. wearing long sleeves in the summer or sunglasses indoors).

...if you see these signs, even a slight personality change, please speak up, ask if everything's alright, offer an escape of some sort, be supportive. Sometimes it is the feeling of being trapped or of having nowhere to turn or no other option that allows these situations to escalate. If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation, it is best to stop the cycle or break ties. The sooner the better.
.     Threats, intimidation, denial or blame, isolation, humiliation, and dominance are some of the methods an abuser exerts control over another. It is very difficult to do; but imagine you love someone and they isolate you from friends or work then demean you for some lacking quality, for example: low income, then when confronted about it they blame their stress at a job, or the pressure of trying to support you. In this situation it's easy to think: wait a minute, you are the one didn't want me to go out and work... What the hell. But you love them and so you dismiss the thought. It only gets worse, it's called the cycle of violence. The worst of it is wanting to dismiss it because you love them. Don' dismiss it, you're smart and picking up on warning signs. Believe in yourself and your right as an adult to not be controlled.
.     Again to quote domesticviolence.org: Abuse is not an accident. It does not happen because someone was stressed-out, drinking, or using drugs. Abuse is an intentional act that one person uses in a relationship to control the other. Sometimes the manifestation seems unconscious on the abusers behalf, but abusers have adopted a pattern of abuse so that they can get what they want. Both sides of this equation require a change in patterns of thinking, it seems there's a lot of focus out there on convincing a victim to no longer tolerate or facilitate the behaviour, to get away. 
.     There is another side to this equation I feel needs just as much attention to bring that terrorizing number, help the abusive personalities recover from their pattern of thinking, there's always a peaceful option, it's ok to not get what you want, it's not ok to force your expectations onto another's life. Domestic abuse hotlines can name places where the pattern can be unlearned and broken. Please break the pattern, no one you love deserves that. 

Helpline: 1.800.799.7233(safe)

Wiki: The main goal for treatment for offenders of domestic violence is to minimize the offender’s risk of future domestic violence, whether within the same relationship or a new one. The majority of offender treatment programs are 24–36 weeks in length and are conducted in a group setting. It has been demonstrated that domestic violence offenders maintain a socially acceptable façade to hide abusive behavior, and therefore accountability is the recommended focus of offender treatment programs. Anger management alone has not been shown to be effective in treating domestic violence offenders, as domestic violence is based on power and control and not on problems with regulating anger responses. More productive foci include topics such as recognizing abusive patterns of behavior and re-framing communication skills. Treatment of offenders involves more than the cessation of abusive behaviour; it also requires a great deal of personal change and the construction of a self-image that is separate from former behaviour while still being held accountable for it.

To a specific friend: http://www.pcadv.org/Resources/LocalProgramContacts.pdf
http://www.christineann.net/about/programs-services/offender/male-offender

Zombie apocalypse

.     A lot of scientific jargon can be tedious, like the next paragraph. I read this stuff and hear real english. It's just real english filled with a lot of "when this stuff is replaced by that stuff, it makes the new stuff that that stuff and this stuff makes, resist breaking down." Believe it or not, bigger words are easier to follow. 
.     "Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies (TSEs), also known as prion diseases, are a group of progressive conditions that affect the brain and nervous system of many animals, including humans. According to the most widespread hypothesis they are transmitted by prions, though some other data suggest an involvement of a Spiroplasma infection. Mental and physical abilities deteriorate and myriad tiny holes appear in brain tissue. The disorders cause impairment of brain function, including memory changes, personality changes and problems with movement that worsen over time. Prion diseases of humans include classic Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease, new variant Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease (nvCJD, a human disorder related to Bovine spongiform encephalopathy), Gerstmann–Sträussler–Scheinker syndrome, fatal familial insomnia and kuru. These conditions form a spectrum of diseases with overlapping signs and symptoms." -Thank you Wikipaedia.
.     A mutation at codon 178 of the prion protein gene causes a person to change over the next two weeks to two years into what sounds and stumbles like a zombie. The mutation replaces a hydrophyllic amino acid to a hydrophobic one. Likes water vs. hates water, super important. As a cell trait that is dominant this replacement prompts the propegation of dysfuctional cells to exponentially increase. The codon at 178 that gets replaced is Glutamic Acid  (Molecular formula: C5H9NO4). It gets replaced by L-valine which in this example causes the cell indirectly to stop using the molecular building blocks it has stored up. Instead the effect is that the cellular purpose changes to one that reproduces (propagates) and resists deterioration. The understanding is similar to taking a fork in the road. As a result of resistance to digestion of building block proteins within the brain, what those brain cells need is not being given to them. Your brain cells can't fuel, they can not function and die of hunger and fatigue. Starve yourself of food or sleep for a few days and see what happens... (...seriously don't do that, 72 hours without sleep in some states is considered legally insane.)
.     Where's the zombie apocalypse? If this thing can transmit by clay, despite outdoor exposure, let alone by consumption or by blood to blood transmission, and some think it could be sexually communicable; which it can, I'd be only a little concerned. If it has the ability to spread like that and you put a solid outbreak smack into the center of a less regulated society, we would be looking at infected areas where everyone is starting to stumble, loose sanity, coordination, balance, speech... Think about it...
However I don't see a reason to fear a now heavily monitored and regulated disease. Don't feed brain to what you eat and don't eat any brain. Most anything else is either uncontrollable or your fault.
.     Your cells store up the ability to send messages (like feed me) through chemical naval bases. Need something, peel off a boat and send it off; the boat has "what's my address" instructions built into it and sometimes cells steal and propagate those instructions so that when one cell in the brain needs water, everyone up there gets some because the message's return address reads "brain." One of the instructions within the address bar includes a prion protein that directly impacts cell function. Normally this protein breaks up easily and provides certain chemicals to necessary processes to further operations. A diseased one refuses to break up and begins the process of sending itself to every near-by cell.  
.     The normal prion protein gene tells stored chemical and protein chains to break apart or digest easily. It normally travels and gets reproduced with any neurological chemical impulse. It also provides info on how often it should be copied. Which is wherever it goes to. There are instructions all along the chain of chemicals in storage saying where the edges are, start and stop. It's kind of like it comes with it's own instruction manual. A prion disease resists being broken down properly. Reminds me a little of cancer, aids and (oh yeah) zombies.
.     Still too much of a jump? A dominant prion gene that tells the bonds in the storage portion of the cell to be hydro phobic means you display symptoms of extreme fatigue. No, I mean extreme. One gene that was found to be a natural carrier of this dominant protein later (in 1765) is called fatal familial insomnia. Remember L-valine, that's the evil one, the transmittable zombie disease is the L-valine protein replacement in the prion; well this one has another prion replacement that is so similar it's part of the same family. The interesting thing here is fatal familial insomnia (FFI) genetically inherited and alwa"ys caused by a mutation to the protein PrPC, but can also develop spontaneously in patients with a non-inherited mutation variant called sporadic Fatal Insomnia (sFI). FFI has no known cure and involves progressively worsening insomnia, which leads to hallucinations, delirium, and confusional states like that of dementia. The average survival span for patients diagnosed with FFI after the onset of symptoms is 18 months." -Wiki
.     While you do get the dementia, poor vocal control, jerky often uncontrollable movements stiff gait or walk, lack of balance and coordination with altered memory and "psychosis" Symptoms lack a few key zombie characteristics. No peeling rotting skin, no intense hunger for brain (though there is something related to psychosis out there) and no undying. Gotta love that.

Deck Staining, DIY (Do it Yourself)

.     There's a plethora of knowledge and information. Videos with tips and step by step instructions. There's no need to be apprehensive about tackling a project that if you don't take care of it every year, will cost you a boat load more; like it will the folk I'm going to help tomorrow. 
.     Today I've come back and re-posted this with a day's worth of in the moment tips. Here's literally What I Learned in prep for the project. 
.     First step. Know what you want it to look like. If what you want is something that looks like wood, with a tint then 1. You have to maintain it yearly. 2. Wood, covered and protected or not, ages and removing that age after a year becomes an expensive and time consuming project. 3. Use the stain-lifting, mold-removing stripper. It helps. 
.     The difference between "re-stain the deck annually" (Or Else) and "this stain lasts two years but no more..." is the difference between hiding your "waited too long" to get around to staining it and now you have to take care of this problem yearly wood, and your "looks like new or kept like new" wood is literally upkeep and the right stain in the first place. The worse you let your deck age the harder it will be to make it look good. Despite tips I'll get to in a bit. The major thing to get from stain is: can't see-through stain lasts a year and usually is required if you waited too long.  Clear sealers and mostly clear stain is the better stain for the visually good deck and lasts longer.
.   Clean the deck means clean it. A decent broom and the proper deck stripper are musts. Power-washing tends to make the rest of the job harder, so hang up this idea unless you need to remove a damaged top layer of wood, in which case, power-washer second, stripper first. So seriously, get the "let set and rinse off, stain lifting" stripper. 
.     Of course you'll still need a scrub brush and a decent broom. Push-brooms actually save time and effort both for spot-scrubbing and for the rinse process. After this general cleaning you'll have to do some sanding, because I assume you used the neighbor's power-washer rather than that twenty-dollar old-fashioned hose sprayer nozzle you needed a new one of anyway. 
.     The sanding step can be skipped, though have a brillo handy, this will come in useful in a bit. For the real tough spots any visible imperfections are going to show through to some extent, there's a cheat here: newspaper. It's made from wood and soaks up stain. Here's what you do. The spot where the grill sits on the deck is black and oily and even the power-washer on the beaded setting didn't get the stain to go away. Try this next tip.
.     Coat lightly with stain, flatten newsprint over it so it sticks evenly and let sit. After a five to twenty minute bake in mid-day sun try to peel it up, If you can't peel it up, not even a little, it's good. Now take your brillo and scrub the paper like you're trying to get it off. You want to leave a roughed up but otherwise smooth layer of paper over your dark spot. Now that the area is "wood smooth" run over it with more stain. It should blend in and appear to be a grain-less section of wooden plank. Invest the elbow grease where it's simplest to do so.
.     Application can be done the fast and less effective way or the equally fast when you factor in the clean-up wipe down and splatter protection processes, old-fashioned way. Things like tarping the walls near-by and anything under the deck aren't often thought of but save a lot of effort if you don't want to explain speckled walls later. Get a roller, one of those thin ones, experts say not too pouffy, I say wide and whatever works will work. Bubbles weren't a problem for me, you go back over it with a paint brush anyway. 
.     Speaking of paint-brushes; get brushes that are as wide as your planks and brushes that are wider, but a two or three inch brush will make tight spots and corners easier. Trust me, every deck has their tight little spot. Paint sprayers don't pain around corners. By the way, there's this stuff called Tek-Dek, should have invested in that and might have to if this wood needs replacing instead of a paint-job. Zero-maintenance is worth it.
.     When you paint the stain on, back brush to get it evenly into the wood and to get a smoother look and finish. Correction, pour stain onto a board and roll on with roller, then go over the board with a brush to get in between the gaps and make sure the roller spread the paint well enough.  Do three or four boards at a time, end to end. If you stop in the middle of any one board then you stare at the imperfection all year with regret. Drips happen, try to catch them before they get bad, yet another reason to tarp under your deck and especially the edges. Spindles take twice as long at least and they are drip factories.  One more thing to note. A paint roller doesn't get the stain on evenly unless you go thick and thick leads to peeling. But it'll get it on quick enough, and after it's been gone over with a brush, minimal effort and good result.
.     And then clean up, no one like stuff dried into a brush and tarps are easiest pulled off of wood it was tacked into, Use 3/4 in. staples and a staple gun. They don't go in as far, makes 'em easier to pull out at the end. Also something to note, saw-dust isn't a big deal, it fills in gaps when it mixes with stain. that's how wood-filler works. Now, does that sound simple enough?

Empathetic Regression, Associative Regression, Revertigo, Mirroring, Parroting. So many names, so many uses!

.     The relevance of Empathetic Regression or what a TV show has recently dubbed Revertigo, is this: consciously and unconsciously many people use this type of communication daily in an effort to achieve favourable responses from others. The phenomena involves an apparent regression type of mirroring of traits, habits, other body language, and/or other communication skills.
.     Some psychoanalysts have studied how behaviour changes to "mirror" others they want desirable responses from, others have studied how in stressful and other situations people sometimes revert to an earlier stage of ego or personality as a coping mechanism. It therefore follows, and is no surprise that the behaviour also occurs as a positive response to pleasant experiences the likes of reuniting with an old friend.
.     Empathy is the tendency of people to "feel for" someone they care about. It is well studied and well-established that empathy is real. It is defined as the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another. Moreover when one mirrors or on some level expresses the thoughts and attitudes of another they are expressing empathy. When these thoughts or attitudes are more explicitly defined as mannerisms that were the embodiment of a previous ego (younger personality) then this empathy has a regression or regressive quality to it.
.     Both empathy and regression are well studied concepts. Feel free to delve into your own research. How association impacts these two phenomena is an interesting theory to explore. When two people share knowledge and experiences, they sometimes freely associate towards the same ends. An example that comes to mind is a classroom and the nitrogen and rose experiment. When it comes time to take the test there may be many varying answers given say on an essay question but the rose has been associated with the knowledge and may be mentioned in more than one essay.
.     The study of associative regression, that is two people who at one point associated freely through several experiences and since have changed (therefore a reversion would be considered regressive) is in it's infantile stages but there are psychological principles worth being explored in the behavioural phenomena. As for me, I find it cute that when one does research on mirroring or on regression or on associtive regression, the results that immediately come up are related to a major media exposure where humor is gleaned from examples of the phenomena.
.     The positive effects of understanding revertigo and it's cousin: mirroring or parroting, is that comfort, non-threat, at-ease impression that interviewers, bosses and clients alike all rely on as their gut feeling as to whether or not this is a "good person". If you see someone at the interview get involved in a Revertigo with the hiring manager, you feel demoralized. Similarly if the interviewer starts to do so with you, you can feel at least partially assured that you've got some sort of leg-up over the competition. Do a bit of research on mirroring or parroting a lot of interpersonal, and therefore job-related stuff can be found and it's quite interesting. Stuff like this.

Book, Leftovers, LOL Cats

.     Tom Parada, published a book: "the leftovers" that deals with pre-millennial end-times and rapture theory. The concept is simpler than religious kitch. Rather it hints at what could be happening to the people in the story, all over the world. You never get the answer to your question: was it the rapture or not? The question is: what if millions of people mysteriously and instantaneously vanish.
.     This engrossing book talks about the people who are looking around and asking what happened to the people they love and now mourn. You get at first a vague connection to one and two characters and quickly you are thrown into their reality that this is a world-wide event and everyone is both touched by it and concerned. Regardless of who they are and where they come from.
.     Tom admits that he didn't do much research into the faces of mourners, but his extensive knowledge on the theological concepts that he touches; allows him to pose some expressive questions. How he approaches the experience of not knowing the answer is the real read to enjoy from this book. It being based in a religious story, just was an easy path to take; it was a pre-set plot.
.     As an agnostic, of sorts, Tom approaches this story more with a focus on people and how they cope. One of the groups of characters that have a presence in this book are an almost cultish group of "survivours" who after this disappearance event, follow others around everywhere playing witness to the final seven years or so of what is purported life.
.     The important thing about this novel is the perspective and the internal and personal detail as it is both discussing cultural and social norms and following personal reactionism. It's this focused perspective with broad undertones makes it a wonderful read one that when you put it down, you feel almost more accepting of the world.
.     Perspective is the Find of the day. I know, cheap cop-out. But do something today. Take a differing perspective from your own and visualize your world through that different belief system, through that different life, goals and priorities. If religion is too heavy and difficult a topic for you try everyone's favourite boredom reducer lolcats!

Arlington National Cemetary and the stories we share

.     Located in Arlington Virginia the cemetery sits on over 600 acres of land with surrounding lands of upwards of 200 acres potentially available in the future. The land was acquired from the Washington and Lee family by the government for reasons of an unpaid tax. The lesson one gets from learning the story is always go pay your taxes in person.
.     What's surprising to note is that while the area of the cemetery is so large, the distance between the attractions of the Arlington house, the Kennedy Gravesite and the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is not a far walk at all. Given the chance to go again, I'd visit the section dedicated to nurses in the military and I'd explore section 60 to see what mementos have been granted a month's leave to be left at graves.
.     The nurses section seems to be less structured and has a peaceful shady solemn feel, and section 60 is the area of Arlington that is interring Afganistan and Iraq war veterans. Arlington has a no-leaving mementos policy, however collection is only the first friday of the month and if it appears to have been left recently, the collections guard will leave a memento until the next month's pick-up. They even have a policy for artistic or signifigant mementos to be photographed, catalogued, sometimes stored and sometimes put into the historic archives.
.     It has always been the story behind things that fascinates me. This is why I enjoy visiting cemeteries. The chance to read a quote, perhaps see a memento, and to imagine what an entire life may have had in any one moment. It is a feeling that is enjoyable. Not to mention the value of paying respects to someone who lived and died.
.     This brings me to my find of the day. Electronic barcodes on gravestones. Call it disrespectful or call it a good idea, but the concept was inevitable. With so much technology now, and with barcodes promising the ability to "find out more" by scanning a small digitized picture it's easy to create an online photo-album and information page and link to it easily through your phone or computer.
.     The ability to share a loved one's in-depth story with anyone who scans their stone can be comforting and empowering and makes for a unique date in my world. I remember wandering around wondering who were the people I'm reading dates and quotes about. Now I have the ability to find out details I never could have guessed, see pictures and know who might have survived this person who otherwise would have been  just a name and a date to little ol' me.
.     Arlington National Cemetery probably wont allow something like this, they are a bit more traditional, but for the rest of the millions of cemeteries out there there are companies that provide this service. However; some lamination tape, a basic bar-code creator and a web-site are really all you need to tell the world, or at least anyone who wanders by, about this important person and who they were to you.

What Vitamins Are Good for Hair Growth

.     Ask yourself what vitamins should i take for hair growth and these are the answers you'll find. But I have a few extra tid-bits of information not many people know or talk about that will really help. It pays to ask your elders first.
.     If you want to know what vitamins are good for hair growth you need not look far. Different sources will cite different vitamins as the most important ones. The real question is why do you want to grow your hair. If there is something wrong with the health of your hair then address that issue specifically. Here are a few of the more common issues and the best vitamins to take in order to remedy the malady.
.     Sebum. It's the oily substance your scalp produces to prevent your hair from dying out and to protect your hair from bacteria. It lubricates and too much can be a bad thing. Vitamin A aids in the production of healthy sebum. Lots of foods and most multi-vitamins all contain Vitamin A but for a boost of this hair-growth vitamin, try eating liver, spinach and carrots.
.     When trying to figure out what vitamin is good for hair growth, you'll hear a lot about citrus foods and Vitamin C. As with all the body's systems, vitamin C promotes health and wellness. Due to the fact that Vitamin C promotes better circulation, your scalp can more easily access the other nutrients it needs to promote healthy strong hair growth. Also contained in most all your multi-vitamins, foods rich in  Vitamin C are of course citrus fruits and peppers. 
.     Vitamin E is also one of what vitamins are good for hair growth, found in vegetable oils, nuts and seeds, Vitamin E dows more for your skin than it does for your hair. But an unhealthy scalp has a hard time producing healthy hair. Make sure your multi-vitamin contains a healthy amount of Vitamin E.
.     B-Complex is a term thrown around from time to time. It often includes Vitamins B3,  Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, and Vitamin B12. B-complexes often include surnames for a couple of these vitamins to seem like they are giving you more, but whether niacin and pantothenic acid are listed or these chemicals are called B3 and B5 does not matter. Get a healthy dose of B vitamins. Try chicken, fish, liver, eggs, milk, whole grains and here's a fun one, brewers yeast. These vitamins help promote scalp circulation and prevent graying and general hair-loss.
.     Biotin and Inositol. Two very important vitamins to make sure you take in. Not commonly listed on most multi-vitamins these two can be found in liver and whole grains. Most neonatal supplements can be a great booster source for these. Take biotin to keep your hair and follicles young and producing like they should. Take Inositol to promote stronger more productive follicles. 
.     So when asking yourself what vitamins should i take for hair growth you need only ask what vitamin is good for hair growth. And here is your answer. Take half a pre-natal pill every twelve hours and you'll notice hair everywhere more readily than you had before. Being a fan of old wives-tales, as most are based in some kind of tried and true fact, I also want to share this little scrap of wisdom. It will clean your body out of toxins, most of which will turn up as deposits in your hair and nails for the first couple weeks, but to give your body the chemical building blocks it needs to produce hair eat lots and lots of gelatin.

Description: Hair growth research can't tell what it pays to ask your elders first. Boitin, B-complex and Vitamins C and E are only the start.
...

I've writtin articles recently for a scammer posing as contentproz. E-mail from contentproe.su has this work but for the record I have the copy right and would like to see payment for services rendered.

The Road

Sorry about the fluff creative piece for filler today. I didn't want to break the habit of daily post. I'm currently doing some in-depth research for a fact-filled piece that's very thorough. So until I get that finished and polished. I hope you can enjoy a story or two.

.   It wasn't long 'til I saw past the road. The sun overhead had left a glare in my eyes and With him in the seat next to me I took a deep breath of the summer air. Smelled  like the dirty laundry we'd been carting around for a week. Living from laundry mat to laundry mat was getting old. So were we. So I looked over at him and smiled. When he smiled back I at least drew comfort from the fact that despite all this hell and poverty I could still give him something as powerful as a happy moment to enjoy.
.     Even if only for a moment. The truck had slammed into a tree and there was smoke pouring out of the engine. I could see it through what was left of the hood crumpled in front of me. I knew this was somehow my fault. But things like this are too tragic to ever be voluntary. So I took another deep breath and relaxed. I never wanted anything like this to be our life. Knowing there was another choice I walked away.
.     For too many sleepless nights I'd been watching the road go by. Night and day finding the next spot to go that was even a mile, didn't matter how much farther it was... so long as it was closer to where we were going. We were headed toward a better life. This was the lie I fed myself day in and day out. A trip to the make a bucket list memory was the cure-all bonding we needed and we never made it there.
.     My favourite thing to do was notice the different trees that were road-side natives to any one area. When we were lucky enough to take back-roads. Counting how many people had rose bushes in their yard. Big beautiful red ones, no one ever had a yellow one. Yellow roses made me think of the trip back home to him. But now the world seemed smaller and colder and somehow darker.
.     I still smiled at him through the wreckage. He couldn't understand how I could smile. Asked me if I knew what was going on. His words were muffled, he had blood in his mouth. So I turned my head to smile out of what was left of the window. I could kind of still see the road. I kept seeing instead where we were supposed to be going. Live out a dream. Make it across the country and tell people what we had seen. 
.     Mostly it was road. But the shining moments were real friendship, happiness and bonding. I could see the giant sequoia we planned to go to. I saw the aura borealis over the arctic ocean at midnight with his hand in mine.  I could see the colorado streets I had seen as a child. I was on my way to being happy in each one of these life-long memories I made. But now I saw a fragment of broken off scrub-brush by the side of the road. Hanging by a last bit of stem where the force of the truck... doing something a few inches above the ground.
. I smiled and laughed to myself because I knew even this was a life-long memory I'd much prefer to remember positively. At the moment I was on my way to the monestary. And nothing was going to stop me and stop me from being happy about at least that. I looked forward at this moment in time to crossing onver the chasm that seperated home from the rest of the violent world and living where it was respected to be thoughtful and nice and it was encouraged to be pleasant to be around.
. I wanted to feel like it was ok to want to make people feel at ease and comfortable. At least, if this turned bad I had gone out sharing a smile. I didn't want this to happen, but it happening wasn't going to ruin my attempt at passing on a good mood. I was determined to survive this as well as look back on it and say "but it didn't get me down." So every time I saw a bit of road-side scrub or rain; smiling and giving it time, it wasn't long before I started to see past the road.

Reading People...

.     ...And letting people read you is one of those skills that comes naturally. You may not realize that you're constantly sending non-verbal cues or what they are or why, but body-language speaks volumes. I love when I come across something like this because I spent my childhood stepping back and over-analyzing these and other subtle forms of interaction in order to teach them.
.     When I was very young, I realized my brother was different. He couldn't tell that other people didn't just listen to his words but his tone meant a lot too. He didn't notice that subtle cues were trying to tell him that another person was not angry but frustruated. When people learned they had to eliminate all verbal and non-verbal cues and focus strictly on the meaning of their words with my brother he made fast friends. I remember countless times that I accompanied his as a sort of translator between worlds.
.     My brother shows many similarities with autistics. While he does not have Autism, it was convenient to explain to others what my brother's developmental-delays resembled in terms that seemed familiar. Even when they weren't. Telling people (in a time when Autism, Downs and ADD were not household terms) that my brother had qualities from these disorders soothed their initial unease and often opened up the conversation of "I've heard of the one but what are the others?" It also gave me the immediate freedom to explain the traits my brother shared with these more common situations.
.     Time and again I found myself explaining that people often look for facial expressions to explain part-way what a person is talking about by what they are feeling. I understood satire and cynicism at a very early age because in some ways I lived with an unwilling example of them. And everywhere we went I would stop and turn to my brother to say: "Now J, I know you're happy to see her because you are but you need to smile when you see Grandma to let her know you're happy to see her." Or other such things.
.     Friendly body-language is one of the lessons I spent a lot of time on with my brother. I'd slow down a group of people we were introduced to and show them how to help him see these cues and understand what they meant. One such occasion is when someone said to me that I was like my brother's translator. I hadn't thought of it that way but kept the notion ever since. To see how he has progressed and remembered those lessons through the years has been fascinating and filled me with pride. He learned a lot of things that were difficult for him. And I never took for granted something so powerful; something that to be without, I knew, was a huge handicap.
.     So when someone said to me through gritted teeth "I like you" I had to swallow hard. I spent years teaching one person harmony between words and intentions and here was a blaring embodiment of what I had learned no one needs to have to cope with in their life. All at once I wanted to teach and to run. (Sorry Mom, once was enough, kinda why I'm a member of the zero population growth coalition.) It's nice to find a web-page I can refer the problem to.